Noodling in August

August Burns Red
"Thrill Seeker"
(Solid State)

Dear Solid State Records,

I know that you've had some recent success with Norma Jean, but can you please stop signing bands that sound EXACTLY like them.

Additionally, as a music and art fan, I do not appreciate bands that have aimless guitar solos like they were Eddie Van Halen and sloppy, proto-typical artwork.

Furthermore, this band is called August Burns Red, which has got to be one of the stupidest names in all of music (and that includes Arsenio Hall's rap persona "Chunky A"). It's like they went to one of those websites that has an Emo Name Generator and got that name. It's really stupid.

So, good luck in the future and please think twice before you manufacture and distribute another cookie-cutter metalcore band like Stupid Band Name (f.k.a. August Burns Red).

Sincerely,

Ryan P.