This is why major labels suck

Various Artists
"Future Retro"
(Rhino/Warner)

Somewhere in Los Angeles, a young 20-something record exec, who discovered 80's music when they rented "The Wedding Singer" from Blockbuster, thought it would be a good idea if they took some of the 80's hits that they heard from the clubs they do blow at and have contemporary dance producers remix them. You know what else is a good idea? Finding this asshat and executing Redman's "Six Million Ways to Die" quote.

On this terrible, terrible comp, The Cure, Morrissey, INXS, Depeche Mode, New Order and a bunch of other bands who are on hands and knees waiting for their royalty checks get the remix treatment. All the tunes are morphed from cornerstones of musicianship and melody to something that would've appeared in that stupid Katie Holme's rave movie "Go."

I guess this is some attempt to cash in to the children who are still wishing that they were living in the 80's (even though the majority of them were born in 1985 and forward) with their terrible asexual haircuts, disgusting sense of fashion and desire to do a rail in the Cha Cha's bathroom. Most of these same kids have trust funds, so they'll probably drop the $15 it costs to buy this piece of shit. Oh well. I'm sure they'll sell it back to the record store for more coke money within a few weeks.