Victorious!!!!!!

Last night, Blake Lewis let down every 311-loving-privileged-suburban-beatboxing White hippie-hopper by losing out to a kid. Ha!

It's no secret that I wasn't the biggest Lewis fan, despite the fact that he's from Seattle (actually Bothell, which is famous for having a stand alone Dairy Queen) and that he rolls with the Massline crew (Blue Scholars, Common Market, et. al.). My beef with this dude is the fact that he's just another blank face on television, contributing little to society at large. Yeah, he might be friends with Geo and Sabzi, but he's not really reflecting their political views; if anything, I just see another White kid from the 'burbs from a well-off family, not unlike the idiots from "Laguna Beach."

Musically, Lewis did nothing to whet my appetite. His song selections were pretty piss poor (covering a 311 version of The Cure's "Love Song?" WTF?) and most of all, he was exposed to two legends, Smokey Robinson and Doug E. Fresh, and he half-ass sings his way through one performance and makes a giant clusterfuck out of the other.

Even with his faux street cred, money from the North End and mall-chic fashion sense, this mickiefickie got beat out by a girl who can't even carry a tune to save her life. PWNED, bitches.

Anyway, "American Idol" has sucked and will always suck and the only reason I end up watching it is because there's seldom anything good in that timeslot when "America's Next Top Model" isn't on. In the end, I gave Blake Lewis ye olde' finger and watched this great documentary called "Slanted Screen."

Chasing Coolness: 1, Blake Lewis: - 0 to the infinite power.