you me and this lame CD

(Originally for High Voltage, the site is going through some changes, so I thought to post it here)

You, Me & Everyone We Know
“Party For the Grown and Sexy” (EP)
(Self-Released)

It’s like people aren’t even trying these days. You, Me & Everyone We Know have the sheer balls to not only name their band after a movie that’s been released in the last two years, but to also rip off a band that also took their name from a film (Say Anything). Since YMEWK is too cool to put out an actual full-length, I’m granted the opportunity to do a track-by-track review of this six-song EP.

“I’d Be More Interested If You Were Already Spoken For...”
Okay, there needs to be this new rule where song titles can’t be longer than six words. Thanks to bands like Fall Out Boy and Underoath, there’s this new crop of bands that seem to dream up of crazier song titles than actually spending their time to write a decent song. Anyway, this song sounds like a poppier version of Coheed and Cambria’s “Blood Red Summer.” Even the lead guitar riff is the same. If this is suggestive of what’s to come, this may be the longest EP ever.

“Do It Again (You’re Not Making Me Want to Touch You)”
Holy Say Anything! I can close my eyes and imagine Max Bemis singing this song with its literary references and gang vocal choruses. Of course since Bemis and company have been peddling “Is a Real Boy” since 2004, this shit more tired and trite than clever.

“The Press War”
Wow, a song title that’s only three words! Sweet. I keep skipping around this song on my iTunes to hear if anything interesting will be said. Nope. Just another paint-by-numbers emo song. Next!

“...Because I Spit Hot Fire”
I don’t know what’s more annoying, when rock bands ironically attempt to interject rap slang into their song titles and daily vernacular or when they try to sing a ballad? In this song YMEWK finds their inner-Gatsby’s American Dream, recalling the old school “Ribbons & Sugar”-era vocal stylings of Nic Newsham and reminding us of the days when scene kids would download songs from mp3.com.

“The Rent Is Due”
I can’t believe I have one more song to sit through. Is there a God?

“Carolina Heat”
In the ultimate clash of influential bands, YMEWK attempts to relentlessly rape the vocal cadences of Brandon Urie from Panic At the Disco AND Max Bemis causing a rip in the emo space time continuum and creating a post-apocalyptic world in which boys and their girlfriends have similar haircuts and spend their days battling each other on which post-Blink 182 band is better, scouring the internet for a leak of the new My Chemical Romance demos and pretending they know who Morrissey is.

I wish I had something nice to say about You, Me & Everyone We Know other than encouraging people to check out the movie. As far as this band goes, I seriously hope they have day jobs.