sucka duck, what the fuck? you don't want none of this

Recently, I've peered into the lives of hipsters, both local and national and it sickens me to see/read/hear that they are taking over in the DJ booth. Let me explain, thoroughly.

These days, you can't throw a rock without hitting a hipster party where some psuedo-celebrity has taken it upon themselves to bring their small record collection and iPod over to a club to rock the jams. These playlists usually all run within a similar vein of tunes:

Dr. Dre "Nothin' But a G Thang"
Joy Division "Love Will Tear Us Apart"
The Killers "Mr. Brightside"
etc.

Going to a local club like Chop Suey, you can see that sprinkled within their otherwise decent hip-hop and indie rock events, they have DJ nights such as "Hipsters and Fags" where you can hear the sweet, non-sense blending of DJ Fucking in the Streets (yes, that is his actual DJ name). I might not be using this guy as an example if not for two things: 1) he DJs everywhere and, from what I've been told, it has little to do with his lack of skill behind the decks and rather his connections (*note: more power to him if he is able to fool that many people into getting him gigs). 2) he is not very good; I've never seen this cat blend, cut, or juggle. He just fucking plays records.

When I was coming up, blending, scratching and juggling were the least that you could do if you even wanted to call yourself a DJ. I'm assuming the criteria remains in hip-hop, but that doesn't stop rampant hipster culture from infringing on the art of DJing and finding people who perform to lowered standards.

But DJ Fucking in the Streets isn't absolutely terrible. Dude has a good selection; he just doesn't do anything to whet my DJing appetite, nor do anything to raise the bar. It's stupid and useless to get that many jobs if you're not going to excel at your craft.

Cats like DJ Fucking in the Streets are paving the way for lazy DJs. People who play their sets via their iPod. They don't care about the joys of record shopping and getting their fingers dirty. They just download whatever songs they need from iTunes or Napster. Additionally, activities such as digging for breaks and scratching go without heed. Fucking forget about it. These people don't have the patience, nor time, to sit around and practice flare scratches. They're too busy doing coke in some dive bar bathroom.

The popularity of the iPod and CD turntables (though I must say that I find these useful for those breaks that I don't want to bring anywhere) are birthing a generation of people who are pissing on DJ culture in general. Taking that into consideration it's not even a hip-hop thing any more than a drum & bass thing.

Browsing into the club scenes in other major metropolitan cities, I find that celebrities such as Hilary Duff, those stupid Good Charlotte twins, and Ione Skye (the annoying girl from "Say Anything") have all DJ'd in their respective 'hoods. I'm sure taking time/money away from a hungry cat who has learned the virtues of DJ Premier is going to bring your club respect.

While those entrenched in the hipster scene are quick to write this off as a "hater rant" by a bitter hip-hop snob and/or nerd, let me assure you that it surely is. For every one dope DJ who has a resident night at a club, there's about six other DJs who are clawing their way into some shithole bar just to get their shot. In the meantime, nights are being taken away for the sake of getting drug-addled, tight-jean wearing foolios to bring their machines to do the work for them. Sure people will show to the hipster night, but is that really worth the loss of dignity?

Save the DJ.