Tuesday, October 17, 2006

what's wrong with the record industry pt.85

As I am typing this, I'm listening to the Smoking Popes, one of the greatest rock bands from the 1990's. They were also on Capitol Records, a label that is synonymous with signing the Beatles and Coldplay, but more importantly, dropping Jimmy Eat World right before the band skyrocketed with "Bleed American."

I may have addressed this on the Coolness before, if not then certainly on some other forum, but the problem with the record industry isn't downloading, bootlegging or indie labels, it's when major labels pull some shit like this:

"Lost In Translation star Scarlett Johansson has signed a deal to make her first record, Scarlett Sings Tom Waits, according to media reports in the US. The album is being recorded at the moment and sessions will continue through the winter, with a possible release next spring from Rhino Records' currently re-activated Atco label." (Taken from IMDB.com)

Seriously, does Scarlett Johansson need anymore fucking money? Not like she's pulling some of that Julia Roberts dough, but I'm sure she makes more than Cat Power does on any given day. On top of that, she's singing Tom Waits songs. WTF? Did anybody watch "Lost In Translation?" And by "watch" I don't mean just stare at Johansson for the whole flick, I mean really watched that movie? Remember the karaoke scene? That shit was awful.

See, this is part of the problem with major labels; they sink all kinds of money into a celebrity on the hopes that they'll be the next Jared Leto, or whatever. This is probably just as bad as when Minnie Driver got a million dollar advance for signing to whatever label she ended up on. What labels tend to forget is that movie and TV stars seldom turn a profit for lack of credibility. For every Jared Leto or Jason Schwartzman, I can name at least 10 celluloid stars with failed albums. Don't believe me? Here's the roll call:

1. Keanu Reeves
2. Rick Moranis
3. Joey Lawrence
4. Paris Hilton
5. Bruce Willis
6. Don Johnson
7. Peter Gallagher
8. Jada Pinkett-Smith
9. Mekhi Phifer
10. David Hasselhoff

Yeah... In your face, Scarlett. Good luck major labels, in your quest to destroy pop music with your vile bullshit and inability to keep any good artists on your roster.


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