America Hearts Compilations!

Various Artists
"Get Rich Or Die Tryin'" Soundtrack
(G-Unit/Interscope)

Various Artists
My Space Records Vol. 1
(Myspace/Interscope)

This should be a golden age for compilation records. iPods and iTunes are insisting that people shouldn't be afraid to have an eclectic selection of music and, ultimately, the success of MP3 players are the end result of people buying up the "NOW! That's What I Call Music" series. People don't want albums; they want hits.

Recently Interscope is double dipping their corporate fingers in this notion with the releases of G-Unit's "Get Rich Or Die Tryin'" soundtrack and My Space's eponymous compilation.

Curtis "Fiddy/50 Cent/Chef Boyar-Fiddy/Interscope" Jackson visibly expands his G-Unit empire (clothing line, label, crew, film division, etc.) on this compilation. G-Unit, which began with 50, Lloyd Banks, and Young Buck, is now including Olivia, Mobb Deep, Spider Loc, Mase, and M.O.P.

A G-Unit fan probably isn't expecting anything new from this soundtrack and they shouldn't. Like most gangsta rap, Fiddy and the Unit have relied heavily on consistancy. Similar drum loops, hand claps, and singy-songy choruses are thrown around on songs like "Have a Party" and "We Both Think Alike." It's apparent that all G-Unit songs are copy-and-paste versions of DJ Premier-style production (bells, hand claps) and Bay Area hip-hop.

The bright spots on this album should have been Havoc and Prodigy, collectively known as Mobb Deep, yet they ruin it by virtue of the fact that the infamous Mobb were putting out better records in their teens. Now nearing their 30's and Mobb Deep have slid back into the stone age. Their tired violent raps sound great when backed with a menacing jazz loop, but on "Get Rich" they are on mid-tempo, faux West Coast beats. It's just sad.

"When Death Becomes You," M.O.P.'s contribution is the best song on this soundtrack, but it's ruined by Fiddy's mush mouth mumbling during the intro.

This soundtrack is an accurate reflection of the G-Unit themselves: bloated and, possibly, going nowhere. If there is an inch of success with this particular recording it's due to rap fans who ought to know better and ironic hipsters.

And it's those same people that have steered My Space to dot com gold. That Tom guy who appears on everybody's friend list thinks that his interweb gold can translate to a platinum record.

Sorry to break the news, Tom, but this compilation album is about as useful as one of those stupid Jamster pop-ups that I get every time I log on.

I guess the key selling point for this album is that you get additional pictures added to your account when you purchase it. BFD, suckers. Why don't you just get a Photobucket account and add those pictures to your journal. There, I've defeated My Space's marketing staff! Give me a job!

Anyway, despite the fact that there are numerous hip-hop, country, and funk groups on My Space, the compilation record itself almost exclusively focuses on the emo-pop-punk variety (I say almost because there's one track, Tila Tequila's "Straight Up," that steers more toward horrendous cock rock that should never see the light of day). Every song on this album is already available on other records, as well as Purevolume. There is NO reason to buy this and, therefore, NO reason this compilation should exist.

This is the worst idea in the world. Well, it's not as bad as the U.S. invading Iraq, but it's up there with Bill O'Riley still having his own show and the new breakfast sandwich at Burger King.

I hope that both "Get Rich Or Die Tryin'" and "My Space Records Vol. 1" tank so that people can get back to enjoying albums and not singles collections.

Related Links:
Jordan Baker's Take On My Space Records
Riff Raff's Review of the film "Get Rich Or Die Tryin'"