Wednesday, July 12, 2006

when pop-punks turn into hipsters

[this asshat was cooler when he played pop-punk. now he's just another run-of-the-mill jock with easy access to money, coke and pro-tools]

Due to the buzz generated by the Internet, someone thought it would be a good idea to let Midtown's Gabe Saporta go to town on the theme song for Sam Jackson's new movie, "Snakes On a Plane." The end result is Cobra Starship's (a.k.a. Saporta and a rotating line-up of idiotic guests) "Snakes On a Plane (Bring It)," a three-minute song using snakes as a metaphor for shady people, and while I'm not the first person to report how ridiculously lame this song is, I should point out how Saporta (as well as a host of other former pop-punk superstars) have been shifting towards danceable hipster tunes...possibly trading in their royalties for coke.

You see Gabe, nobody can take your faux-hipster shit seriously since you spent the last eight years or whatever, playing cheesy pop-punk songs; actually, come to think of it, nobody should take hipsters or pop-punk kids seriously, so I guess you have that commonality going for you.

Anyway, the song itself is pretty bad: blaring horns and plastic strings that sound like their straight out of ACID, the hook sounds like the chorus from "Fame," and that dude from Gym Class Heroes pops in at the end, rapping the worst lyrics since "Nookie" by Limp Bizkit. Yeah I'll say it: Fred Durst is probably better than Schleprock (does he still use that name?). Maja from The Sounds also appears on the track, doing that annoying Gwen Stefani-chant thing; most of all, however, her appearance solidifies the notion that people (guys and lesbians) buy The Sounds because she's in the band and not for their music.

If you're currently in a pop-punk band and you're contemplating making the transition into the hipster dance genre, listen to this song and save yourself the years of embarassment that will follow.


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