fear of a black...well, y'know...

It's been kind of a slow news week and I've mostly been working on a feature that I keep getting extensions for, but because congress is busy running the U.S., my calls have yet to be answered. Shit, people I have a deadline to meet! Anyway, the last few days several sites have been posting little blurbs about Diddy's banned commercial for his new Unforgivable for Ladies fragrance. Nah Right took the liberty of posting the actual ad.

So what do you think? With the type of shit that put on network television (Desperate Housewives, What About Brian, CSI, Law & Order), I'm surprised that this commercial is even an issue. Why MTV, a network publicly known to sell sex before music, got on some sort of puritanical high horse is beyond me. The only thing I can get mad at Diddy for is his stiff performance (yeah, I went there). Clearly, the real television sin is alluding that Diddy got to park his organic Bentley inside Jessica Gomez's ethnically ambiguous vaginal garage. Seriously people, it's 2007, why is interracial canoodling such a big fucking deal?

Are lame ass dudes still living off of the Mandingo stereotypes? Ugh. If anything, the commercial should be used as a motivational tool for bad actors trying to make it in the business (as long as you're a relatively good looking dude, you don't have to act to smash hot girls). Anyway, MTV and Viacom need to get the gasface for perpetuating such bullshit because they're scared of some dude's dong. Whatever, it's early, I'm grumpy.

fricka freedom writer

Bellingham's favorite daughter, Hilary "The Next Karate Kid" Swank, is going to be stinking up the silver screens in a minute with her latest foray into overdramatic acting, "Freedom Writers," an MTV film about a White teacher bringing a ray of hope into the lives of a group of n'er-do-well urban youths. This film, of course, is being released during the apex of Oscar buzz.

Michelle Pfieffer must be pretty pissed right now.

Personally, I don't think this film could generate any type of Oscar buzz, save a green muppet on a public television show ridiculing it; in fact, I'd be surprised if it even does relatively well at the box office. I don't know how many more of these "White Shadow" flicks we have to sit through before we just start shooting ourselves in our collective feet. The whole genre smells of a rotting dead corpse, not unlike the Black/White buddy-cop movie staple. On top of this generic mess, it's an MTV film for God's sake. How many good MTV movies have there been? One, probably [1]. "The Perfect Score," which wasn't that great to begin with. Their line of stinkers, however, is pretty impressive: "Joe's Apartment," "Varsity Blues," "Coach Carter," "Save the Last Dance," "Crossroads," "Orange County," the list goes on.

As far as these kinds of movies go, Jon Lovitz made the king of all of them back in the late-90's. Everybody else is just clown shoes.

[1] I realize that "Better Luck Tomorrow," one of the best movies of all time, was released by MTV, but technically, MTV only dumped money into its release and promotion. The film was long completed before they sunk their fangs into it.