the case for: rappin'

I was out on a date a few nights ago and the girl and I were talking about awful movies we held in high regard. This was sort of brought on by the fact that I own many of Freddie Prinze Jr.'s movies. I asked her if she had ever seen "Rappin'," which she had not, and I was sort of surprised. This movie needs to be seen by everybody. To paraphrase Mike Myers in "Wayne's World 2" (another shitty movie), it needs to be sent out in the mail along with samples of laundry detergent.

"Rappin'" is a categorically bad flick starring everybody's favorite S-curled Hollywood spawn, Mario Van Peebles. The plot is pretty simple: dude gets out of prison and tries to save his neighborhood from getting developed by winning a rap contest. This same plot was also used in "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo," which was released a year earlier.

What makes "Rappin'" so awful/awesome is that Mario New Jack actually raps himself, which puts him up there with other celebrities who have no business ever getting in front of a microphone (a list which includes Shaq, Karl Rove and various contestants of that stupid cable rapping contest show). In fact, Chris Rock once said that the reason why he got Kool Moe Dee to do Gusto's raps in "CB4" was because Mario Van Peebles was so shitty and that he had the foresight to see that he [Rock] was not a rapper.

So if you're feeling down, go out and rent "Rappin'" and you'll feel about a billion times better. Trust me.

Related Links:
Rappin' on Amazon
Rappin on IMDB

yo herbs, win an autographed circa survive CD

the only person i know who doesn't like circa survive is ilene, so logically, one could assume that all my other myspace friends like the band. that said, enter this redefine contest and win an autographed CD. then you can have someone repeatedly step on your foot until you sound like anthony green.





win your CD NOW

you! go buy the superbad soundtrack!!!!

[buy the soundtrack or Jonah Hill f**k you the f**k up]

I don't do this too often, but I'm telling you to go out and buy the "Superbad" soundtrack. See here's the thing: most people who read this blog are probably into bands on Fueled by Ramen, Jade Tree or whatever the hot hip-hop label is nowadays (let's just say Rawkus). But if you grew up on shit like Parliment, Ohio Players, Isaac Hayes or the Dazz Band, do yourself a favor and buy the "Superbad" disc. Why you ask?

Well, as I began working on it, I realized that all the tracks on the original score are played by some pretty top notch dudes, though most of them would go unrecognizable because kids these days don't appreciate the funk [1]: Bernie Worrell, Catfish Collins, Luis Conte, and Bootsy Collins.

The songs themselves aren't half bad either. I'm actually surprised that Steven Soderbergh didn't try to get these players on the soundtracks for "Out of Sight" or the "Ocean's" flicks. But his loss, which will be yours too if you don't buy this disc and get your head straight [2].

[1] For whatever reason, kids don't give a shit about the historical and revolutionary sounds of the funk, which is a shame if you ask me. I mean, who do you think Dr. Dre, Dilla and a handful of other producers milked their style from? Also, just because you listen to Aiden or My Chemical Romance doesn't mean that you can't open up your mind and listen to some Stylistics or The Spinners. What the hell is wrong with you?

[2] That is, if you like the funk.

Last Transformers-Related Post, I Swear

Over the weekend, I finally went out to watch "Transformers." I had to see it with my friend James because a) he's is also an 80's baby, so you have to watch it with your brethren, and b) he was the only one who wanted to watch it with me.

Here are some opinions before I get on to the jump off:

Michael Bay sucks
Michael Bay's movies suck (except for Con Air and/or The Rock)
Robots are cool
Megan Fox is pretty banging, but she's way too young (even though she's like 21)
Shia LeBeouf pretty awesome in the movie. Totally forgive him for that "Battle of Shaker Heights" flick, now.

So yeah, right off the bat, this movie is filled with little jabs and nerd humor including a Camero hitting the fuck out of VW bug and lifting lines from the original animated movie. I have a feeling Michael Bay is smarter than we give his commercial-directing-ass credit for since he put super hot girls as the female leads and he probably realizes that the demographic appreciated some of the not-so-subtle boob flashes. Despite these huge flaws, it was still pretty cool. Getting the original voice of Optimus Prime, Peter Cullen, to reprise his voice is fucking genius. Oh and John Turturro was a good add, too.

So yeah, while the movie lacked in certain aspects, all in all, it's probably my favorite sci-fi movie since "Sky Captain."

Sony Pictures...Hating the Internets, One 14 Year Old Kid At a Time

For you mickiefickies who don't spend all day looking up random shit up on Youtube/Google Video, "Superbad" is a movie opening this summer with Michael Cera (aka George Michael from "Arrested Development") and Jonah Hill, the scene-stealing chunk from "The 40 Year Old Virgin."

Last week, the redband (i.e. "R-Rated") trailer leaked all over the internet. This dirty version was much better than the greenband (i.e. family-friendly) version, if only for the scene in which Hill proclaims that he'd be the Iron Chef of pounding Vag. Then yesterday, all of the Youtube links mysteriously disappeared (Slashfilm offers an explanation), only to have the redband preview available at Superbad's official site. Trying to watch it proved to be somewhat difficult since I couldn't even access it with a birthdate of January 1, 1900. Bastards! After an alternate Google search, I finally found the badass redband trailer at Worst Previews.

Could this flick be the new "American Pie?" (which in turn, was the "Porky's" of 1999) Only time and DVD sales will tell.

[Related Links]
Superbad - Red Band Trailer
Superbad - Green Band Trailer
Michael Cera - Impossible is the Opposite of Possible

chasing coolness' 380th post of awesomeness

What's shakin' party people?

I haven't really updated in a bit because I have a million things to review for the two outlets that I contribute to on a semi-regular basis. Also, it's been pretty busy here at my 9-to-5, which leaves less time to hit ye ol' blogger.com. I have some reviews and some other BS to write about but until then here's a video of my favorite Weezer song:

not funny haha...or is it?

I don't know what's worse/funnier: the headline, or Jordan C trying to beat up a hobbit.

lessons in regret presales!!!

we have presale tickets available now for our show on sunday, november 19th...$7! instead of the $9 you would pay at the door. hit up our myspace to get in touch with myself, greg, sean or andrew so you can get your groove on.