Thursday, April 20, 2006

attn mtv: stop talking about hip-hop and hurry up with the next season of real world/road rules battle of the sexes

So MTV posted another list of the next 10 greatest MCs. They are as follows:

1. Ludacris
2. Kanye West
3. Lil' Wayne
4. The Game
5. Beanie Sigel
6. Jadakiss
7. 50 Cent
8. T.I.
9. Cam'ron
10. Talib Kweli

This list reads like Pitchfork's wet dream, but for a real hip-hop fan, it's bullshit. It's far worse than the previous list that those fuckfaces at MTV posted. This also proves, without a shadow of a doubt, that MTV wouldn't know hip-hop if Crazy Legs, Grandmixer DST, Kurtis Blow, Fearless Four, Phase 2, Ricky Powell, Russell Simmons, DJ Alaadin, and the Last Poets shot them in the face with a clue gun. MTV (or Viacom) is obviously clueless on what an MC is, and as I've stated before, a real MC has skills and NOT a gold plaque.

Let's run down the list shall we?

Ludacris: Yeah, he's a good rapper, but MC, he is not.

Kanye West: Good producer? Maybe. But Rhymefest did write "Jesus Walks" (which was probably the only good song from "College Dropout), so 'Ye can't even write a good hip-hop song, what the fuck makes him a "great MC?"

Lil' Wayne: This kid was alright when he was mushmouthed and 14; now he's just annoying.

The Game: There are plenty of "gangsta" rappers who would deserve this title more than The Game. For one thing, The Game only has one (proper) album, which was a success because it was associated with 50 Cent. You know who'd be a better pick? Krayzie Bone.

Beanie Sigel: Beans had one good song. Does that sound like the consistency of a "great MC?"

Jadakiss: Remember the shiny suits?!

50 Cent: Fiddy is a jock, plain and simple. He picks on those he deems weaker to elevate his own self-esteem, and he is celebrated for it. The reality is that in a few years, Chef Boyarfiddy will be bagging groceries at a bodega in Queens. Also, he sucks.

T.I.: I could never tell T.I. and Chingy apart when I heard these assclowns playing somewhere. A great MC must have a distinct voice, which T.I. does not.

Cam'ron: Here's a sample of the lyrical wizard that is Cam'ron: "And we'll hit you off with a little Puerto Rican judo/Ju-don't know?" Also his Jay-Z dis record was fucking garbage. I would liken Cam to Toby Keith, just one big joke wrapped up in a sexually confused mess.

Talib Kweli: Get Kweli some good beats and he'll rock your ear off, but he mostly works with wack producers. I hope he has Hi-Tek's number on speed dial. Shitty albums aside, he might be the only person who deserves to be on this list.

Here's a list of more deserving MCs:

Mr. Lif
Clipse (they sound the alike)
MF Doom
Boots Riley


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