Fun while it lasted...

I haven't had the opportunity to write about "Ashergate 2009" recently, but here's the quick rundown:

My least favorite rapper, Asher Roth, played at Rutgers and tried making light of last years Don Imus/Nappy Headed Hoes comment. Obviously, this did not play out very well. But to give my archnemesis the benefit of the doubt, he was trying to lampoon Imus. Fair enough. Then Roth is quoted in Pitchfork as saying "You guys (other rappers) are disgusting." Again, in all fairness, he was talking about the plight of Africans and how American rappers tend to spend their money. This coming from a guy who basically glorifies date rape on his single about college and used the release date 4/20 as his marketing ploy.

Huh.

Eskay and the Nahright crew weren't having this and issued a Roth ban until homedude apologized, which he did, assuming that Steve Rifkind threw a chair at him or something that he picked up from working with ODB or MOP.

Personally, I think the whole thing was blown out of proportion to a certain degree. More than anything, however, I doubt Asher Roth -- as a white kid from an affluent suburb -- is in any position to talk about how rappers who have typically come from places of poverty should spend their money. Yes, I am being a hypocrite here since superficial musical acts are usually who I talk shit about the most, but given the nature of my upbringing, I feel like I have a much better grasp on the socio-political implications than some severely mediocre college rapper. I'm just sayin'.

That being stated, I'm actually a little bummed that the Roth ban is lifted. The reality is that if the ban had stayed in place, Roth already has such a following (there's no accounting for taste) that just because a singular hip-hop website (even if it's the best one) stops posting about him, it won't hurt his career among fans -- only credible hip-hop heads. Which, as I write this, was probably the point all along. Oh well.

BAN ASHER ROTH!

Finally! The Hipster Rap Backlash Gains Traction!

For the longtime readers of this blog, it's no secret that I've long hated the bullshit acts collectively known as hipster rap. M.I.A., Asher Roth, Charles Hamilton and the ilk are something left to be desired; and not to sound like an old man, but seriously, people who buy rap records and have no idea who Big Daddy Kane is need to get checked. Preferribly by Group Home. With a metal pipe.

I know that there are other heads who've shared my disdain for this subgenre that requires its fans to wear bright neon colors and all-over print hoodies. Chicago's Japcity took one of the first aggressive stances and recently, Termanology released the super dope, "Tight Pants are for Girls."

The other day, I was reading Nahright.com and there was a single video clip, no explaination for Big City Philadelphia's "How to Rob an Industry Hipster."

Using an old 50 Cent beat, Big City Philly launches into this killer song that -- if it gets popular -- will have Asher Roth's dumbass trying to suck up to M.O.P. to be his bodyguards or some shit. Now I will never condone violence or abuse on any level, it's just not my style, but if simply threatening people through a satirical track will get them to stop making crappy rap songs, then fuck it, I'll co-sign Big City Philadelphia.

Breaking News: Jay-Z is Boring!

[Hat Eats Jay-Z; Sauce Money Releases Diss Track]

Jay-Z briefly woke up from his coma of being married to one of the most stunning women on the planet and counting his collection of Fabrege eggs to perform at President Obama's inaugriation ball last night and played a rather subdued, if not totally boring, performance.

I would like to say that he was playing up for the suits, but let's face it, Jay hasn't done very many good records as of late. His last listenable track, "Brooklyn Go Hard," was okay, but it's not on par with "Brooklyn's Finest" or "4 Alarm Blaze;" hell, even "Change Clothes" was pretty good.

I realize that at this point in his career, Jay-Z the rapper is secondary to Jay-Z the celebrity, but if you're famous for being a musician, you should at least practice your craft and try to sound interesting, it's how LL Cool J has managed to stay relevant (not to mention look eternally young) for so long.

Chasing Coolness Doesn’t Understand the Appeal of Asher Roth; White People in Uproar

I never really understood what makes Asher Roth better than, let’s say, Prozack Turner, RA the Rugged Man, Miilkbone or a host of other white dudes who rap whose names aren’t Eminem or Vanilla Ice (that comparison was way too easy). In many ways, I should probably like Asher Roth just based on the fact that he looks/acts like the kind of guy I would hang out with. Except for the fact that that spot is already filled by my friend Corey Ball.

Unlike Corey, Roth doesn’t have a grasp on golden age classics (like the first three Tribe records) and most appalling of all is that his introduction to hip-hop was “Hard Knock Life.” Really? Hard Knock Fucking Life? This dude probably never heard of MOP prior to “Ante Up.”

But as is such, Asher Roth’s backpacker appeal with his Target model good looks has made him a lusted object for bloggers who are too afraid of Scarface to listen to real rap music and chicks who heart Danity Kane (or what’s left of them). Roth’s greatest asset is that he’s the semi-legit/edgy rapper that is there for when non-hip-hop rap fans are ready to graduate from MC Lars and MC Chris to something a little bit more substantial, which Roth is, particularly compared to the other two.

Yet sucky is sucky and I can’t deny that I would much rather listen to someone like Crooked I or Joe Budden than this lame ass carbon copy of the dudes from Lexicon.

Busta "Roid Rage" Rhymes Ethers That Guy from Gym Class Heroes; the World Isn't Surprised

The new Gym Class Heroes song, "Peace Sign/Index Down" features Busta Rhymes, who's probably the most notorious guest rapper for ether-ing you on your own song, bested perhaps by Ol' Dirty Bastard, who -- unlike 2Pac -- didn't record enough material to see posthumous guest vocals outside of Rhymefest's buttercup joint. Don't worry, Travis, it's a rookie mistake.


Gym Class Heroes getting Sonned by Bussa Buss "That Song About a Middle Finger"


Craig Mack featuring Biggie, Rampage, LL and Busta, "Flava in Ya Ear (Remix)"


B-Real, Coolio, Method Man, Uncle L, Busta Rhymes, "Hit Em High"


Tribe Called Quest featuring Leaders of the New School, "Scenario"


Every Popular Rapper from 1994/95, "The Points"

Tyga = Crossover Rap's New Jesus Christ

It's no secret that I'm not the biggest Gym Class Heroes fan. I could go on for another three paragraphs on my usual onslaught of comparing them to Crazytown, but what's the point? You little kids wouldn't know a good emcee if Rakim the God was in your living room doing "My Melody" for you and your mom.

This sentiment is proved by the unexplained popularity of Tyga, a Compton-based rapper who's currently shilling for Pete Wentz's Decaydance Records, also the home of Gym Class Heroes. Also, this Tyga kid the cousin of that Travis dude from said Heroes group. And who says nepotism doesn't pay off?

Earlier I shaved minutes off my life by watching Tyga's video for his debut single "Coconut Juice." First off, the beat is a total rip of circa-2001 Neptunes. It sounded too much like something that would've been on Clipse's "Hell Hath No Fury." In fact, Chad, Pharrell, Malice and Pusha T should pay Tyga a visit...with a cease and desist. The video also boasts a really odd cameo from Lil' Wayne who's just sitting behind a soundboard, playing with his cell phone.

The song as a whole sucks, and Tyga's not a very good rapper. I would liken him to Domino, and at least "Getto Jam" was catchy. "Coconut Juice" is pretty much a filler song that a DJ might play to take up space between "I Get Around" and "Big Pimpin'." What I find more disturbing is that little pop-punk kids will buy this shit and think of it as eclectic because they bought what they've been tricked into thinking is a rap record, when it's really a pop record with makeshift street cred.

Tyga, along with his Gym Class brethren, is just another dude who's joining Skee-Lo, Biz Markie and Kanye West in the line of Black rappers that White kids can listen to around their parents. I'm not trying to discount the talents of Skee-Lo, the Biz and (to a far lesser extent) 'Ye, but man, how about some Dead Prez? X-Clan? Poor Righteous Teachers?

I suppose my big gripe about Gym Class Heroes and Tyga is that for these kids who don't listen to hip-hop on a regular basis, the buck stops there for them. Most don't go off to discover Gang Starr, Blahzay Blahzay, The Click, Mac Mall or Shyheim. All these non-threatening rappers are just a clean, glamed up version of LCD (Lowest Common Denominator) Rap -- their records are cheaply put together, not well thoughtout and exist to only sell units and simultaneously destroy communities. If anything, Crossover Rappers like the ones who are signed to Decaydance only perpetuate the stereotypes of African-Americans that long-in-the-tooth rappers such as Common (Sense) have spent years trying to dismantle.

My solution: don't buy Tyga's new record and send his wannabe Sean Kingston-sounding ass back to flippin' meat at Fatburger. Instead, spend your money on the new Joell Ortiz record, or throw some money towards Crooked I -- there's a real Compton rapper who could use an album or five.

the non-review review of mark ronson's new ish

I feel that I tend to walk a really fine line between militant ethnic writer and dude-who-calls-people-out-on-their-BS. Obviously, I've made my distaste for a certain local (Un)American Idol pretty fuggin' public, at the same time, I went somewhat batshit crazy over Dawhud and Amy Winehouse's records. That said, I was reluctant to enjoy Mark Ronson's new album, "Version."

For those who don't know, Mark Ronson is a White, privileged, trust fund baby, through and through. This dude was a model (or something like that) who parlayed his family's musical connections (dude's stepfather is Mick Jones) into a somewhat respectable DJ career. Then he put out the fantastic banger "Here Comes the Fuzz," which had the best Wu-Tang records on it. Somehow, he started "producing" tracks for the likes of Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen and using Sharon Jones' backing band, the Dap-Kings to bring their retro brand of Soul to these English broads jacking the same steez that Lauryn Hill jacked eight years ago.

I have every reason to hate "Version." It's much more derivative of that Pitchfork hipster pop shit that seems to be all the rage. The guests are a who's who of Lindsay Lohan playlist favorites: Maximo Park, Lily Allen, Amy Winehouse, Kenna, Phantom Planet and Kasabian. There are some covers of The Smiths and Radiohead tunes that completely rework how they sound. All of this comes via Ronson's connections which were funded by his mommy and daddy's cash.

Despite all of this, I still dig this record. Maybe it's because I'm a little older, so hearing the same Beyonce song (or Rhianna), has sort of lost its luster, but I really can't hate on this album. It's catchy as all hell and the cover of Radiohead's "Just" is pretty good. I'm bummed that there's an exclusion of emcees on this (save for an Ol' Dirty vocal clip), but maybe Ronson will come around once Rhymefest bitch slaps him for hanging out with permanently drunk British broads.

some more ol' bullshit i'll probably like by year's end

I remember listening to what would be Recover's final album, "This is the Year I Disappear," thinking that it was one of the worst records I'd heard in quite some time. Let's rewind for those who aren't down with the pop-punk:

Back in the day, around 2001 or so, there was this band from Texas called Recover who tacked onto the "screamo" genre earlier than any other band west of Ohio. What set this band apart from any other Atticus-sponsored crapfest is that they actually wrote pretty good songs. Singer Dan Keyes had this ridiculously melodic voice and they had some pretty crazy riffage in their songs.

By the time their third record (and first for a major label) came out, they'd pretty much taken out all the hardcore aspects out of their band and turned into a bona fide pop rock band. Blah.

Or so I thought.

As months passed, I found myself enjoying the record a lot more and though I believe that it'll never a hold a candle to their debut, "Rodeo and Picasso," it's still worthy of a spin from time to time.

Some time last year, demos for Keyes' new band (a.k.a. himself), Young Love, started showing up on the Internets and I simply wrote them off as another former pop-punk dude getting in touch with his inner hipster (see also: Gabe Saporta, Darryl Palumbo, Fall Out Boy) by making really, really horrid dance music.

Young Love's debut "Too Young To Fight It" came across my desk this morning and I must say that while it's not my cup of tea, I can see why people would buy this record. It's insanely catchy and groovy (not in that Shaggy sort of way). Surprisingly, former Elektra honcho and notable hip-hop producer, Dante Ross, produces two tracks on this album. They also happen to be the best songs on the record. Coincidence? Probably not.

Anyway, as I'm listening to the lead single "Find a New Way," I'm still resisting myself from enjoying this album. I don't know how long that'll last, though.