Friday, March 03, 2006

crisis in faith

I began writing the story of how I wandered into the beliefs and ideas I have about God, Catholicism, and all things sacred. Somewhere along the way, I felt that it's a story better suited for a book rather than a short post on the internet. So here's the condensed version:

Raised Catholic --> At 15, started studying other faiths --> Went to a private Christian college --> At 23, finally comfortable with beliefs and such.

I guess I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I have relatives asking me when I'm going to baptize my daughter, but I also have my mom, who is a Jehovah's Witness, telling me that I should bring the kid to her church. In addition, my fiance is athiest and I whole-heartedly believe in God. So our compromise is that we'll let the kid decide when she's old enough to understand the complexities of religion and the people involved in it.

To be honest, I think being raised a Catholic, you automatically have a certain amount of guilt and burden on your shoulders. It's hard to have a fun childhood when you go to church every Sunday and told that no matter what good we do, we are still sinners. That's probably why a number of people who were raised Catholics reject the faith as adults.

Personally, I'm in a place where I can believe in God, but I still have a hard time understanding the people who dive into the dogma head first. A lot of my concerns have to do with some of the kids I went to school with at SPU, and I think Joel would attest to that as well. Then again, maybe it has little to do with God and my inability to understand human nature. But I'm still in my 20's, so I have some time to sort it out.


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