Bamboozle: It's Like Hot Topic Gave Birth To 101 Poser Punks

This weekend, thousands upon thousands of attention-starved teenagers the liberal media refers to as the "emos" will descend upon New Jersey to participate in the Spring weekend precursor to Warped Tour, The Bamboozle.

Boasting a line-up of something like 200 bands, the Meadowlands will play host to such illustrious bands such as Lifetime, Circa Survive, Saves the Day, and The Bled, as well as some some not-so-great bands like Fall Out Boy, Aiden, and Paramore (yuck!). They've even thrown in Method Man, crooner Van Stone, and former Legends of the Rodeo mouthpiece John Ralston.

Yet despite what may seem like a good idea on paper (definitely a good idea when you think of the sales figures), it looks like a bad idea to me. For one thing, the notion of squishing a bunch of unruly teenagers into an enclosed space to catch Pete Wentz's sweat can only lead to riots. The other reason why I tremendously dislike The Bamboozle, Warped Tour, and their other festival counterparts is simply for that the fact that they are contrary to the spirit of punk rock, or whatever diluted version of it exists these days.

My friend Adam, who once worked at Tooth & Nail Records, went to The Bamboozle's competition the NJ Skate and Surf in 2004 to represent the label. His take on it was that it was like a big mall. I haven't been to a festival-type of event in sometime but even going as far back as 2001, the last time I went to Warped Tour, the influence of corporate sponsorship has become even more apparent.

Bamboozle is probably the worst single event since it stretches its line-up over two days, yet tickets are $32 a day, but after Ticketmaster's lofty surcharge and building usage fee (?), the ticket actually goes up to $40 and $80 to see two days worth of crappy fifth generation screamo bands and their pathetic fanbase is $80 too much.

Not to mention that you run into the same problems that you would at a Warped Tour or Bumbershoot where two bands that you want to see are playing at the same time.

While I understand that the "low" price of $80 seems like a deal for some 15 year old kid who can see all of his favorite Best Buy bands in the same venue, the adage of "quality over quantity" comes into mind. By trading in intimacy and a lower ticket price of one band, you're getting a hoarde of sweaty teens, poor sound (so you probably won't hear your favorite band), and even more overpriced merch (oftentimes, bands price their merch based on the what the venue's cut is, so being that this is a sports arena, expect to pay $20 for a Taking Back Sunday t-shirt), as well as overpriced food, water, and medical attention.

Bottom line: Bamboozle is basically a weekend getaway for a bunch of kids who are friends via Myspace and whose commonality is their love of Aiden and AFI. And while they may feel that they are gaining something of substance for the 48 hours and the hundreds of dollars that they're going to spend sweating amongst their ilk, in actuality, it's Bamboozle's sponsors and event organizers who are going to achieve something of substance. Like a Benz.