Monday, December 29, 2008

2008 Rewind: Music Sucked; if it were a Child, it Should Be Put into Time-Out

It’s been a minute since I did these of the year recaps, but it allows me to take a breath and look at everything that was wrong with the calendar year so we can avoid it at a later date, so let’s get to it.

Gym Class Heroes put out another record that I would typically lampoon, except for the fact that compared to other rappers, Travis McCoy doesn’t actually sound that bad. Here is a list of “rappers” that are worse than McCoy:

Lil’ Wayne
Asher Roth
Kanye West
The Cool Kids

For every Wale, Ludacris or Jake One record that came out, there were about five mixtapes that sucked terribly and have no reason to be associated with hip-hop in anyway. I actually thought that 2008 would have a sense of promise as Blu and Exile release a very sick record, as did Little Brother. But instead, it’s just another year of mostly shitty albums and some good ones sprinkled in between.

It wasn’t just hip-hop that sucked this year, though. Rock music took a very giant hit to the face as musical abortions, Brokencyde, Millionaires and Cash Cash continue a reign of terror that will ensure a new generation of fresh-faced teens to turn into 20-something douchebags whose sole goal is to stay stagnant in a suburban nirvana of extending their collective childhood.

Brokencyde, for those of you who aren’t in the know, is a crunk/screamo band. Yes, finally!!! Someone has taken the two worst musical offshoots in the last six years and combined them so we can only have one band to hate! Thumbs up…no wait, thumbs way down. Brokencyde – with their neon colored shirts and stupid haircuts – remind me of the kind of dudes who own like three rap records, but who are generally afraid of Black people. I’d be willing to bet that the reason they got on this gimmick is because they couldn’t find a drummer.

Millionaires is basically a rip off of Fannypack, with some really young looking girls fronting the group wearing what you would expect from an American Apparel ad. I believe there are two reasons why this group is popular: one, they’re “hot” (by generic scene standards, I guess); two, nobody remembers Fannypack.

Cash Cash isn’t worth any mention beyond my feelings that they’re really, really awful.

All that being said, I’m holding out hope for 2009. One of the most underrated emcees of all time, Freeway, has been throwing out some serious jams lately, as has Big Pooh from Little Brother.

The hardcore band, Horizon, put out a pretty awesome demo and Boston’s A Loss for Words has something bubbling for the new year. All in all, 2009 could possibly erase all the crap we’ve had to put up with, or just turn into another year of stupid music.

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