Wednesday, December 20, 2006

calling BS on miss usa's fake rehab crisis

So for whatever reason (probably a slow news day), MSN and Yahoo were abuzz with the story of America's beloved Miss USA (nee Tara Conner) going to rehab for her partying ways. Although she's probably at least 12 steps (zing!) from showing her goods, Britney-stylee, this whole situation makes me wretch for a few reasons.

1. She got to keep her title and crown.
2. She's kind of gross looking and she's representing our lovely little nation?
3. Does anyone care about beauty queens anymore?

The fact that she got to keep her title and tiara alone is enough for me to call bullshit on this whole debacle. Back in 1984, the best singer of all time, Vanessa Williams, was forced to resign because she posed nude for some pictures. Those pictures didn't hurt anybody or put people in harm's way. Yet Conner, if she is the heavy drinker that the media alledges, could've mauled over some people in a vehicle or busted some glass in someone's eye like Dilana in "Rockstar: Supernova." What the crap? So why did Williams get the boot and Conner hasn't? Easy: race.

No one ever wants to deal with the general discomfort of race relations in America, but sometimes you have to call it. The Aryan poster child who potentially could've ruined lives with her alcoholic ways gets to keep her damn crown, while a woman who represented an entire race of people -- as well as the nation -- is forced to bow out because she had taken some naked pictures TWO YEARS prior to winning the competition. I call bullshit.

Also, Tara Conner is kind of busted looking. For all the money that got dumped into her image so she could win some crappy title that the general public seldom gives two craps about, she looks like she works at Ann Taylor. Yeah, she doesn't even look cute enough to work at Forever 21, the Gap or Urban Outfitters. Well maybe Forever 21, but the last two? Not even.

And lastly, does anyone even give a shit about beauty queens anymore? When's the last time someone who wins a national or international competition commanded this kind of media attention? Maybe back in the 1970's and 80's. But in today's internet-driven world, it's more likely that the girl who serves me cocoa down at Tully's will be more known for winning The Stranger's "Hottest Barista" title than most of Seattle knowing who the hell Tara Conner is. Hell, the contestants (not even the winners) of America's Next Top Model command more notoriety and respect than Miss USA, Miss America or Miss World.

So while I'm sort of bothered by the fact that this blonde got to keep her dumb tiara or whatever, I guess I can be rest assured that in a year or two, no one will remember 2006's Miss USA, and if they do, they'll just refer to her as "the drunk one."

Related Links
Vanessa Williams at Wikipedia
Drop Dead Gorgeous at IMDB

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