cutting it up with the G-O-D

Last week two new Tooth and Nail Releases were thrown across my desk: The Almost's "Southern Weather" and The Chariot's "The Fiancee." Having already reviewed Further Seems Forever's supposed final release, I was a little reluctant to review two more CCM bands, but then I remembered that I could talk about it with God via iGod, so that's exactly what I did. Here's what transpired:

Me:
What's up God?
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
Word, word.
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on ?
Me:
Fa sho.
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
I love it
God:
So do a lot of other people.
Me:
That's what I hear
God:
Who is saying THAT ?
Me:
THAT?
God:
That is " Who is saying THAT ?".
Me:
Snoop?
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
A few
God:
Two or three?
Me:
Two pretty well and a third one "passably"
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
word.
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Have you heard the new album by The Almost?
God:
No. Tell me more.
Me:
Well, it's the drummer/singer from Underoath
God:
Well that's okay. I've heard of it before.
Me:
Yeah, it's okay. I mean, it sounds the same as Underoath, just without screaming.
God:
And? Only ok? In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
Well, you have the booming voice and the white long beard
God:
Interesting. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Stereotypes
God:
Clever thinking.
Me:
I try....
God:
We should all try our best.
Me:
Anyway, The Almost album is commercially being release via Virgin Records but contains many CCM themes, how do you feel about that?
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
There are a few songs with hints of redemption, a loss of faith and the finding of faith.
Me:
What do you think of Aaron's (The Almost) other band, Underoath?
God:
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
I see.
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
Have you heard Norma Jean?
God:
No. Tell me more.
Me:
Well, they're another CCM Hardcore band on Tooth and Nail and their old singer has a new band called The Chariot
God:
Well that's okay. another CCM Hardcore band on Tooth and Nail and their old singer has a new band called The Chariot are they.
Me:
Are you okay?
God:
Don't I look like it?
Me:
Um, sure. I guess you have the hiccups
God:
I don't judge people. OK let's do it. That's interesting. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Let's get back to the original question, have you heard The Chariot?
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
What do you think of their new album "The Fiancee"
God:
I think you mean "What is his..." or "What are their...".
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. Yippee!
Me:
It sounds too much like Botch and they're not really carving out their own identity
God:
In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
Well, I guess since you created the universe and people then you can sound like Botch if you wanted to, too.
God:
Is it only a guess? How do you know?
Me:
You are all knowing
God:
You think I am knowing.
Me:
So I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree about The Chariot, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Awesome. Anytime soon?
Me:
I am not Canadian, are you?
God:
It wasn't meant as an insult.
Me:
Well, it wasn't insulting per se
God:
Interesting. It seemed like insulting per se.
Me:
Blah. Have you heard that new Tegan and Sara single?
God:
Etc. Etc. No. Tell me more.
Me:
It's pretty sweet. I like Tegan and Sara more than the new crap that Tooth and Nail sent me
God:
Are you sure it is? A lot of people like that. I enjoy working with people. I like to talk about movies and music.
Me:
Me too. Do you read Pitchforkmedia.com?
God:
I'm glad we agree, . I read a lot of books, especially history, science-fiction, and computers books. I also read newspapers and news magazines.
Me:
But what about Pitchfork?
God:
Does it have anything to do with Tegan and Sara more than the new crap that Tooth and Nail sent you?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Far out.
Me:
Word life.